


Hate it when you see me cry

by Sebastanbucky



Series: Stucky One-Shots [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Crying, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Protective Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 18:22:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19978486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sebastanbucky/pseuds/Sebastanbucky
Summary: Steve wakes up to find Bucky crying in the middle of the night(I suck at summaries)





	Hate it when you see me cry

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short angst fic that’s been stuck in my head for a week
> 
> Title from Hate It When You See Me Cry by Halestorm

“Hate it when you see me cry. Your T-shirt soaked through from my eyes. When I’m not as tough as I should be. You’ve seen the softest part of me.”  
Steve woke up suddenly, still half asleep he figured he just had one of those dreams where you fall of a chair or something and closed his eyes to go back to sleep. As he was drifting off, he heard a small sound, but he was too out of it to place it. He forced his eyes open again and listened for any other noises, but when he heard nothing he turned around in bed and tried to go back to sleep again. He stretched one arm out over the middle of the bed to put it around Bucky. His instincts telling him to protect him from the noises. When his hand landed on the empty sheets beside him his eyes shot open again. Bucky wasn’t in bed with him, just as he thought that he heard the sound again.   
This time he was awake enough to hear the gasping and something that sounded like choking. He stilled and waited for another sound; it didn’t take long before he heard someone crying. Or he thought they were crying; he wasn’t sure as it sounded far away. Suddenly he realized that Bucky wasn’t in bed and he was hearing crying, Bucky was crying. He quickly sat up and stumbled out of bed, the sheets got tangled around his legs and he took longer than he would like to get them untangled. He opened the bedroom door as quietly as possible and followed the sound, his heart breaking for Bucky.   
This used to happen almost every night when he first came back. Bucky would never talk; he was completely unresponsive when Steve tried to help. Eventually they figured out that he didn’t respond to Steve because he couldn’t understand him. When he got like this, he retreated back to the soldier’s mindset, only understanding Russian. At first Steve didn’t understand it, why would he go back to speaking Russian with all the trauma he went through that was all connected to Russian. But Nat has told him that it was because it was some sort of comfort when he got lost in nightmares and flashbacks. It was something familiar to hold onto, while the memories would twist into horrible images through his mind the language always stayed the same. It was a way to try to grasp onto reality when he couldn’t tell what was real.   
When he entered the living room, he saw Bucky sitting on the couch. He was corked up in the corner, arms tightly wrapped around his legs and face buried in his knees. Steve could tell he was holding back sobs from the choked noises that was coming from him and now that he was close enough, he could hear him mumbling in between the quiet sobs. He walked slowly over to the couch, trying to make a little bit of noise so Bucky would hear him coming but not so much that he would startle him.   
When he reached the couch, he carefully sat down beside him, making sure to leave some space between them so Bucky wouldn’t feel trapped. He waited a moment to make sure Bucky was aware that he was there before he put a hand on his right shoulder, touching the metal arm could be triggering so Steve always tried to avoid it. When Bucky didn’t react, he slowly started rubbing his hand up and down his back to offer some comfort. He didn’t know if Bucky was ready to talk yet and he didn’t want to push him.   
They sat like that for a while in the silence, only Bucky’s heaving breaths and quiet sobs filling the room. At some point Steve had moved closer so there was no space between them. All he wanted was to take Bucky’s pain away, to stop what was happening in his head and fix everything. But he knew he couldn’t do that so he did what he could to comfort him.   
“Steve.” Bucky said so quietly he almost didn’t hear it. He sounded so broken, his voice thick and rough from the crying.  
“Yeah Buck. I’m here.” He didn’t want to say too much in case Bucky was having trouble understanding English. It had gotten better as Bucky got better. Sometimes they could talk just fine when he felt like this and other time he was still struggling. It had been a while since this happened so Steve had no idea how well Bucky could understand him this time.   
“Steve.” He repeated, more firmly. As if he was reassuring himself that Steve was there. He was starting to calm down a little so Steve slid his arm around his waist and his other arm under Bucky’s knees and carefully stood up. Bucky tucked his face into Steve’s chest and held onto his shirt with both hands like a scared child and if Steve’s heart wasn’t already breaking for him it would be exploding with how cute Bucky looked.   
He carefully put Bucky down on the bed and crawled into bed beside him. He let Bucky curl up into his side, with his face tucked back into his neck and hands finding his shirt again. Steve curled up around Bucky too, feeling the need to protect him. He put his free arm around him, and the one Bucky was laying on reaching up to play with his hair. He could feel the wetness from Bucky’s eyes on his neck, he seemed calm enough to try to talk a bit.   
“You wanna talk about it?” He said it in a way that assured Bucky he didn’t have to. He wanted Bucky to talk about it. He didn’t know what else he could do to help, and it was heartbreaking to just watch, but he wouldn’t pressure Bucky into talking if he didn’t want to. His mind was going a thousand mines a minute with all the possibilities of what could be going on in Bucky’s head. They had been through this too many times to count, but that didn’t make it any easier to have to watch the one you love in such pain.   
Bucky shook his head no, but that clearly didn’t stop him from thinking about it as the sobs started up again and this time he wasn’t holding back. Deep, gut-wrenching sobs that sounded like he couldn’t breathe. His whole body was shaking with them. Steve tightened his arms around him. He rubbed his back, played with his hair, kissed the top of his head, shushed him, told him everything would be okay, anything to try to soothe him.  
Eventually the sobs died down, replaced with hiccupping breaths. Steve could feel his body relaxing in his arms. Bucky was asleep, finally calm enough. He was probably exhausted from the crying and Steve hoped he’d fallen into a dreamless sleep so he could get the rest he needed. As Steve let himself relax too, he felt how tired he really was, having fun on adrenaline this whole time. He tried to stay awake for a while longer to keep an eye on Bucky, but he could barely keep his eyes open and it wasn’t long before he too was asleep.


End file.
